And So It Begins.............

Well! The Rat has a new love interest and he is working hard! He has even taking to writing poetry because that is what she is into. If you weren't a hardened case (like me) you might think that it was the real thing. NOT! He is off to see her again but this time the signs are creeping in! He points out, subtly, that it is a journey of 24 hrs. 'Look what I am spending' he is saying. This is how much you will have to pay me back - this is how much it is going to cost you! Paranoid am I? No, just realistic. After all he is still making me pay for the suffering that I have caused him.

If I could speak to the new woman, I would say one thing - Narcissistic Personality Disorder! Look it up, now - don't leave it until it gets scarey!

There's none so blind.......

I remember being really ill, when I lived with the Rat. I have quite severe asthma and when I have an attack, it presents by coughing, usually so badly that I pass out through lack of air. Anyway, I remember being really poorly and he had come into the bedroom while I was taking an attack. Then he walked out! I lost consciousness and when I came to, I was still alone, despite the fact that he could hear me! I meant that much to him!

He probably doesn't even remember that incident, just as he never remembered anything about me when we were married! A pity he doesn't remember this, when he is feeling so sorry for himself now! It might give him some insight into why he IS on his own etc.........

As for me? So much better, happier, confident, healthy, comfortable, alive........oh so alive!

Idiot personified!

I really loved the Rat! I looked after his Mum and I looked after him. Even while I looked after his Mum, I sometimes wondered at his callous attitude. I sometimes wondered..... if he can be like that to his Mother, how can he be with me?..... but then I dismissed that way of thinking. Idiot!!!! When his Mom was gone (God rest her soul) he just started with me! I had it all planned! How I could get a better job, how I could earn more money and look after him when he wasn't able to carry on working. And Yes, I knew he would need me to look after him. But You know, he didn't care! He wasn't willing to invest in me, mentally or emotionally. He just owned me!!! Or so he thought.

Now? Well now, maybe he knows better! Coz, now the only person who owns me..... is me! Long may that continue!!!!!

Still Here!

I am so exhausted! It is difficult trying to sort all of the rubbish that the Rat left me with, while holding down a full-time job and looking after my teenage son and my elderly parents. Of course, the Rat wouldn't know about any of that! He couldn't even look after himself!! There were times when we were together that I was so ill that I had to attend the GP three times a week. She would try and get me to book myself into the hospital because she was so worried about me and yet I couldn't. Why? Because he couldn't look after himself!! Because he needed me!! Did he hell! He just wanted me where he could control me!

You know what's worse? He is now reeling someone else in, through his blog!! Saying all of the right things till he can get his hands on her! Poor Sod!!

Getting There!

Well! I am completely exhausted! I have been sorting, scrubbing, scrapping up dead mice, sweeping, washing etc. Finally there is some improvement in the little house. It still stinks but I am managing to slowly get rid of the smell. I don't know how someone could live in such filth!!

While all of this has been going on I have been doing a lot of thinking. The most amazing thing that I came up with is that I no longer am interested in the Rat! I really don't care what is happening to him. I had put a comment on a blog that was meant to remind him how it had been. How I had felt during the hell of a marriage, and do you know what? He replied that he 'empathised' with me and then went on to wallow in his past!! He couldn't even remember the event that had marked me so clearly!

I have many memories of the Rat. Not one of them pleasant! I wash my hands of him!!!

Onwards and upwards!

XX

Once a Rat - Always a Rat!!!!!

I am just so angry!! I cannot contain it - thus this post! The Rat (estranged husband) has just upped and left the marital home. Now you might think this was a good thing, and in a way it is. However, when things got too much for me to take anymore, when I was so scared I couldn't take it, he told me "If you don't like it - move!". So, I did! Upped sticks with my son, found a new place to live, worked like a slave to pay all of the bills and furnish the new house and trusted my solicitor to sort it all out.

My solicitor is great but neither of us had figured on the Rat! He just ignores all communication and two years down the line he moves out of the house. This means that I need to get it ready to sell and deal with all of the problem. So, I go down there and find my beautiful home in such a disgusting state, it beggars belief!!! He has destroyed everything that I had worked so hard to create. Systematically!! With spite! It goes beyond filth!

I have put up with a lot of abuse from this man but I will NEVER, EVER FORGIVE HIM FOR THIS! NEVER!! He is beyond selfish. He is a spiteful, abusive, selfish, spoilt brat and I see no evidence of him ever changing. As I said "Once a Rat - Always a Rat!!!!

!

Well, what a surprise!!! I didn't get a lifesize cardboard cutout of Martin Corry for christmas!! It has become a new target for me to achieve!!

I did get another non-response from the ex-husband, which means that I have to continue working massive overtime, while looking after my 13 year old son and elderly parents. And he is still feeling sorry for himself!! There is nothing I can say that is positive about him, so I refuse to talk any more about the manipulative, abusive person!!

I have connected with lots of friends and aquaintances over christmas and it is wonderfull! What a fantastic time of year!! I have realised that there is nothing as precious as people!!

People like you and me!!